So, here I am laying in bed. I barely slept last night… probably due to me taking Nyquil early yesterday. Yesterday I was on fire, had a fever, horrible cough and never got out of bed. Today I am feeling better somewhat.. but definitely not 100%, I hope to be getting out of bed at least today…. I just want to feel better before tomorrow so I can go to work and feel better for my trip on Thursday.
Speaking of my trip Thursday, Noah and I are going to see Monsters vs Aliens on the IMAX in 3D… Should be cool, even for a grown up to watch!
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So, I got some really exciting news today…. My son is excited about seeing me. Yeah, so what? Of course his mother says that right? Well, I have a story to back it up.
His grandparents in Washington stopped in today. Sabrina told Noah that someone was there to see him. His initial reaction? Eric is here to see me! He ran down the stairs but she had to tell him that is was his grandparents and he said, Oh. I am sure he was excited to see his grandparents, but to know that my son is expecting to see me and wants to see me makes me so happy. I have big plans for seeing him. If things work out like I plan, I will be seeing him once a month, and one a month he will get to go places and do things he has never done. He wants to go fishing, but has never been. He wants to go camping outside and has never been. All these things I can do with him on top of the multitude of local things to do like go to the Aquarium, Charlies Safari and baseball games. This should be a really good summer, and Lord willing my son will get to be in my brother’s wedding… I am keeping my fingers crossed for that one!
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Well, according to Google Maps I will be about 2450 miles from home. That is a VERY long way. It is amazing how far it actually is. Hopefully on my trip across the country I can get some good pictures out of the plane window. I have to check to see if I have a window seat or not. I did request one.
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So, I can’t begin to express how excited about the trip I am. Sabrina has never spent any time in Seattle, so maybe one day, not on this trip we can go to Seattle. It is looking like Charlie’s Safari is my #1 spot and maybe a trip to the aquarium. I don’t much care what we do as long as my son and I have a good time and bond… It is important that he knows I am here for him and that I love him.
Anyhow, the second big east game is on tonight for us… UL vs Villanova. Should be a good game, probably a nail biter but I hope not… I see big things in our future, but then again things can change with just one game. I’ll be at New Directions the little bar by me tonight watching it and eating wings… mmm
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So at the end of the month I am taking my first ever trip to the west coast. I am going to start seeing my son monthly now… and it looks to be like an exhausting trip… 8 hour flying each way, but well worth it. This first time, I am taking an extra day. Not only is it cheaper, but I get to see my son longer.
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So Thursday, March 5 is my 30th birthday. Certainly something to ponder… a time to reflect. So, at 30 am I where I thought I would be? Am I happy?
So, sadly I have to say that I am not where I thought I would be. I can say that I am a very fortunate person though. I assumed I would be married by now and that has not happened yet… but do I regret that? Not at all. I am dating a beautiful, wonderful woman who appreciates me and cares for me. I have a wonderful job where I make excellent money and can support myself quite well. So why am I not where I thought I would be? I was engaged 8 years ago but not married. I bought a house 7 years ago and now I am in an apartment. Life came at me hard and fast… I lived life to the fullest and lived it a little too full. I lost a wonderful job due to negligence. I lost my house subsequently…. I made significantly less for over a year at a different job. I lost my life savings trying to continue to live. I ruined my credit in the process. But do I regret anything? Not at all. I think that life is what you make of it and I am making the best of it and preparing myself for the future. Although I am not where I thought I would be, how can I complain? I am back to making great money, have a wonderful girl, have a very nice place to live… life is what you make of it and I am happy.
And to top it off, I am going to start seeing my son monthly. I have not seen him in a couple of years, so although I am not where I thought I’d be I get to see my son consistently and put quality time in with him. Ok, so all of this is rambling… but it just me reflecting. I am happy with my place in life, I really am. I have lost a lot of friends over the years due to various reasons, mostly due to my actions, but I have learned a lot about myself and think in the end I am a better person for it all.
I love my life and where I am and can’t wait to see my son in a few weeks.
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So this evening I call up my son’s mother to talk to her. We get into a heated discussion concerning things we both have differing opinions on that upsets us both. Eventually the conversation changes and we are on the same page again. I hate that we disagree on some things, but that is the nature of things. We both want what is best for my son, but we both also look out for our own interests which is where things can certainly vary. Anyhow, the conversation changed and we had a pleasant conversation. Soon I got to talk to Noah. We had a good conversation and after we were done I asked to talk to mommy.
The cutest thing? Well mommy got on the phone, but Noah stayed on the other line listening in and making comments. Him and I would have quick chats about little things and then back to talking to mom. Well, when we were finally finished talking I told Noah that I loved him and would call him back in a few hours to webcam with him and sure enough he was excited about that….
And then the funniest thing happened. Just seconds later he called me back and told me that he was not finished talking to me and wanted to talk to me more. To most this probably doesnt seem like a big deal, but to hear that my son enjoys talking to me and specifically called me back just to talk more made my day.
There is certainly more background to the story as to why this is such a big deal. That is another blog post for another day, but needless to say I have been out of his life for a few years and to hear him wanting to talk to me just makes my day….
Noah, although you are not reading this, I love you… with all my heart, all that I am and all that I will be, I am your father and will always be here for you, through thick and thin, even when times are tough for me I want to make them the best for you… I know you won’t ever see this or understand my love for you, but I am here unconditionally for you… Always, your dad…
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Previous Posts
- Cupcake on G1
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- Going green
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- Couple of new pics of my son
- Jul 4th castration attempt LOL
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- B-Cycle